


Dogs and Plants Do Not Mix

by Zodiac



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Amaurot (Final Fantasy XIV), Amaurotines (Final Fantasy XIV), Ascians (Final Fantasy XIV), Established Relationship, Fluff, Hyth is a gremlin, M/M, Mandragora's are Halmarut's babies and she will Fight if anyone touches them, Meanwhile Emet-Selch is a tsundere, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Slice of Life, So is Cerberus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24337933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zodiac/pseuds/Zodiac
Summary: Hythlodaeus thinks that Hades and Cerberus could benefit from a day out in the park around Akadaemia Anyder. However, he wasn't planning on Cerberus wandering into Halmarut's mandragora garden while roaming around...
Relationships: Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch/Hythlodaeus
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Dogs and Plants Do Not Mix

While Hythlodaeus enjoyed spending free time inside poring over books or listening to whatever might be playing on the radio, he was also fond of having days where he simply relaxed outside, appreciating nature and the various creations that had been approved in the Bureau of the Architect. Nowadays, the only issue in being able to have a nice day out was Hades. Ever grumpy and tired, it was always an uphill battle to convince him to spend a day out in the sunshine rather than napping away in a dark corner of their apartment. Sure, Hythlodaeus could always leave his cranky partner at home while he went off to enjoy nature without him.

But that wouldn't be any fun.

So, after a bit of coaxing (and holding Cerberus up to utilize three pairs of puppy-dog eyes in addition to his own most pathetic, begging look) he managed to drag Hades along on his outing, Cerberus prancing alongside the two of them, all-too happy to go someplace different than their usual walking routes.

The location he had settled on beforehand was a park surrounding Akadaemia Anyder, full of plenty cozy little spots for researchers and students alike to sit and focus on their notes. He had chosen a bench encircling a fountain to settle down at, idly watching birds and citizens flit about their business, the steady, healthy pulse of daily life in Amaurot. Hades had lied down in the soft, springy grass beneath one of the many trees dotting the park, placing the lunch they brought in a picnic basket beside himself and claiming that he would guard it against any hungry animals or students that might attempt to steal it. Given how he hadn't moved from that position since they arrived, Hythlodaeus strongly suspected he had fallen asleep there, though it was difficult to tell with his mask on and hood up.

Ah well. It  _ was _ only ten in the morning when he managed to drag Hades here; Hythlodaeus knew better than to hope for two miracles in one day.

Cerberus, meanwhile, had spent some time barking and snapping at the jets in the fountain, simultaneously bewildered and intrigued with the magical moving water. Tail wagging, all three heads had each focused on biting a separate stream, doing their best, but not at all succeeding at stopping the water at the holes where it shot out from the structure.

Well, he certainly wasn't the brightest of dogs, but no one could say he wasn't talented.

Eventually, he seemed to have his fill of the water and trotted off, no-doubt trying to trick one of the other Amaurotines in the park into giving him attention or food. Hythlodaeus wasn't worried; Cerberus behaved for the most part and, even in the unlikely event that there  _ was _ an Amaurotine out there who carried ill will towards animals, it was well-known at this point that Cerberus belonged to the esteemed Emet-Selch. There wasn't a soul in this city who would even think of harming a strand of fur on him.

That was what he thought until a piercing, persistent scream echoed through the park.

Instantly jolting to attention, he snapped his head from side to side, trying to pinpoint the source of the noise as every citizen around him was attempting to do the same. Whatever it was couldn't have been an animal; it sounded almost Amaurotine in tone, but… if it was a person, surely they would have had to stop for breath by now. Instead, this was a constant alarm of panic, never changing in pitch or intensity. No matter how hard he wracked his brain, he couldn't even think of a creation that sounded like that…

He wasn't left wondering what it was for long.

Coming from the direction of the academy, pushing around and past Amaurotines shying away and covering their ears, came a bounding Cerberus. Not seeming to mind the screaming one bit, his tail was wagging up a storm and front paws were muddied with dirt, something relatively large held in all of his jaws.

If his blood hadn't already run cold from that horrid shrieking, it would have when Hythlodaeus recognized what was in his mouths.

Wriggling and flailing stubby little appendages was one of the person-shaped plant creatures Halmarut favored, a mandragora if Hyth remembered correctly. That unearthly screaming was still emanating from somewhere behind the collar of the vegetal vest(?) it wore and he had to cover his ears much like those around him as Cerberus drew nearer. Thankfully, it ceased once the dog plopped it down in front of him, instead making something akin to high-pitched grumbling as what counted as its arms reached up to rub at the sturdy stem sticking out of the top of its head, obviously where Cerberus had yanked it up from the ground. The puppy, meanwhile, had sat back on his haunches, tail still wagging, all heads panting happily, excited to hear about what a good job he had done.

Hythlodaeus had dropped his hands to his hips and was about to admonish the bad little pup before being interrupted by yelling of an entirely different persuasion.

"As soon as I find who made off with one of my babies, I am going to stuff my entire collection of nightshade down their throat!"

Oooh no. Even if he hadn't had a panicky mandragora in front of him, Hyth could have recognized the angered voice of Halmarut anywhere; given how lax Hades was with certain Convocation matters such as punctuality, he tended to attract her ire more often than Hyth was comfortable with. He may be on friendly terms with the Convocation given how he was suggested for the role of Emet-Selch, but Hythlodaeus knew that he wasn't about to deal with the enraged Arbiter all by himself.

Almost tripping over his long robe in the process, he scrambled his way over to his partner, who looked to somehow still be sleeping through all the ruckus. Cerberus followed right after him and began to lick at Hades' face as Hythlodaeus shook his shoulders. "Emet-Seeelch, we have a bit of a… ah, situation."

He simply groaned and made an attempt at rolling over, clearly not awake enough to be dealing with this "situation" at present. "Five more minutes…"

"I do not believe Halmarut will be willing to wait five more minutes!"

Sure enough, an Amaurotine quickly approached them and, if the angry stomping hadn't given her identity away, the telltale red mask covering her face certainly would have. Hythlodaeus couldn't help but note that citizens nearby were quickly shuffling away, unwilling to potentially be caught in the crossfire of the Arbiter passing out judgement.

"...I should have known that it was the two of you behind this." Her voice was sharp, but with an exasperated resignation to it, her arms crossing over her chest. "The only thing worse would be if the 14th were here with you. Alright, confess, whose smart idea was it to snatch my baby right from his cradle?"

"Well, you see," Hythlodaeus began, voice noticeably wavering, "we just thought we would spend a nice day in the park — "

" _ I  _ did not wish to come." Emet-Selch grumbled as he sat up, finally abandoning any attempt at continuing his nap. "Hythlodaeus made me."

"You needed  _ some _ sunlight. Soon you will be unable to see during the day at all if you remain cooped up all day.”

“Is the married couple quite finished arguing so we can get to the matter at hand?” Halmarut interrupted with a sneer before the two of them could continue their back-and-forth.

“...We are  _ not _ married.” Came the expected protest from Hades, ever unwilling to acknowledge just how deep his feelings were for him in front of his coworkers… or anyone, really. “Nowhere close to it, in fact.”

“Anyway,” Hades might have been perfectly happy to continue sassing Halmarut, but Hyth would rather not be trapped in vines or fed to a malboro or whatever sort of punishment she was planning for the two of them, “we thought we would spend a nice day in the park, no trouble or strange creations or anything of the sort. We even brought Cerberus along to play and roam around the park with, but, ah… it seems as though he found your garden while he was off playing…”

“And decided to dig up one of my prized creations.” Though that mask offered limited view of her eyes, Hythlodaeus could feel her gaze narrowing at him. “And why did he do that? I thought you would have taught that mutt of yours better by now.”

“...He was searching for buried treasure… and found it?” He offered lamely with a shrug. Right on cue, Cerberus barked as if in agreement, finding this excuse as good as any. Judging by her suddenly sour expression, the attempt at a compliment towards her creations didn’t faze her any and he sighed, shoulders slumping. “He is still a puppy and neither of us have had to train one before… especially not one that is composed of both of our aether. You can barely handle Emet-Selch by himself, imagine how stubborn this puppy can be.”

“...My condolences.” Ignoring the “Hey” of protest from Emet-Selch, she moved to scoop up her poor mandragora that was still making noises in some vague semblance of speech in that odd language of theirs, easily holding it with one arm. “But he still dug up my child.”

“This is true…” Hythlodaeus admitted, averting his gaze from her in hopes of figuring out something that would appease the Arbiter… and falling right upon their picnic basket. Reaching in, he drew out a translucent bag and offered it to her. Within were shortbread cookies with a dip and a dollop of red in the middle of each. “How about you take these as recompense? They have pomegranate jelly in each of them.”

“Those are mine.” Came another half-hearted protest from Hades, still too groggy to do much of anything about it.

Humming, she plucked one of the cookies from the bag and took a bite of it, any remaining signs of her rage melting away as she tasted it. “Your cooking is as good as ever, Hythlodaeus. I never thought I would be saying this, but Emet-Selch is a lucky man.” A pause as she took the bag from Hyth’s hand. “I  _ suppose _ I can accept these as payment… just this once.” With that, she turned and took her leave, though Hythlodaeus couldn’t help but notice the mandragora reaching its little arms out towards the bag before she turned completely.

He had a feeling Halmarut wasn’t the only one who would be enjoying those cookies.

“You gave her my dessert.” Oh, right, he had a now very whiny partner to placate. Though, he was still tired enough that even his attempt at being dramatic fell flat, sleepy voice somewhere close to a monotone. “I did not even do anything and you gave her my dessert. How could you.”

“Oh shush, I will make you more when we get home.” Leaning in, he deposited a gentle peck on Hades’ mask, right above where his forehead would be. “Just be glad I did give them up or else  _ we  _ might have been the plant food instead.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this and wanted to screech at me in a manner similar to socializing, then you can find my Twitter right [here](https://twitter.com/HippestGlitch).


End file.
